What the hell?

Pardon my strong language. I don't normally talk that way. At least not any more. I mean, not out loud. Not where anyone could hear me.

That's one of the many things that they Holy Spirit is cleaning up in me since I have committed to follow Christ, and accept the gift of His grace for my sorry self.

I do still appreciate a well-placed expletive in a movie. Not the gratuitous kind that are just vulgar, but take sweet little red-headed Ron Weasley. Bloody hell. Cracks me up every time.

So in the last few weeks, I have visited many doctor's offices. I've explained to each of them my symptoms, and they all agree; I'm depressed.

What the hell?

I shouldn't be depressed. I have a wonderful husband. Precious healthy children. I am fortunate to be able to stay at home with them, and be a part of every bit of their little lives. I have lovely friends. People who are beautiful on the inside and out. Why the hell am I depressed?

Hell that's why. Hell came into a perfect world and stained it forever. It came into a place where love and peace abound, and poked holes in it.

So after seeing all the doctors Blue Cross would let me, I have come to realize that none of them can help me the way the true Physician can. Hell is my problem, and only Heaven can help me. With that, I am renewing my commitment to my quiet time with Him. I have to begin my day fresh with His Word on me, so I can fight off the Hell that will come during the day.

Being human in a fallen world, there are parts of me that are really broken, and I do take medicine for it. This medicine helps restore my being to it's original state, as I was created by my Creator.

With that, I am improving every day. It's still hard, and the memories of my "blue days" are still quite fresh, and who's to say there won't be another one, but for today, I am happy.